Life had been complicated and messy lately with lots of intense situations requiring a lot of focus. I was starting to feel like a ball of string haphazardly wound up…too tight in some places and unraveling in others…just rolling along in the mess and swirl of things. Standing strong, pressing in, plod on plod on…you’ve heard the phrases and that was me.
My own hope and encouragement began to falter and eventually I found myself in the place where my prayers were just, “God, please help.”
Then lunch with my beautiful friend, sharing tidbits of our lives and the conversation navigates its way into deeper things and I began sharing struggles and hurts that I had been walking through.
“You should listen to this speaker. She’s amazing, you’ll really like her.”
And I asked, “How will this help me?” I asked twice in the course of the conversation and finally she said, “Honestly, I don’t know. But you have to listen.”
Maybe when we just say “Help”, it gives God all kinds of room to go beyond all that we can ask, think or imagine.
Maybe it gives impetus, real movement to the direction He wants us to walk toward. Maybe my whole life just changed. Is changing, will be changed.
I cannot remember the last time my world was rocked in this way…and maybe all it does is help me get through December…and January (otherwise known as The Dark and The Cold in Alaska). Which is reason enough to be grateful…but I’m feeling hints and whispers. Passion and inspiration are awakening from their slumber…my heart has been provoked.
Thank you to my dear, dear friend.
“Everything else had unraveled and the only course was to trust God.”
Is it really possible for one speaker to make that much of an impact? One book? One teaching? One encounter that God has His hand in? Absolutely yes. Please read Acts 9:1-31 if you have any doubts.
I can’t help but wonder, how such a big result from such a simple prayer? Those that know me know that I like a plan. I make plans. I’m strategic and basically bored and don’t take you seriously without a plan.
Plans excite me. I love developing them. Problem solving them. Forging ahead and making the mistake and quickly rerouting the plan is fun too. People that love details get a bad rap, we’re called cerebral , “thinkers not doers”. Bah! Not me! Plans are where the action is…
So when I’m praying to God, “Please help.” I don’t have anymore plans. At this place my agenda was so simple. Peace. Wholeness. Love. Joy. Connection. Everything else had unraveled and the only course was to trust God.
I’m realizing now that the past two years have been about my unraveling. All the things that I was wound around – church, ministry, pleasing others, succeeding…and the things wound around me…peoples expectations and needs, fatigue, shame, fear..all these things have been unraveling.
…casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. :: 1 Peter 5:7
It’s been an excruciating and beautiful process. And I didn’t even fully realize what was happening. I got to the place where my hands were empty. I couldn’t come before God with anything – other than myself. No plans. No agenda. No strategy. No offering. Just me. Just Gretchen.
And all I could say was Help. Please help.
From this place. This unraveled, naked place – everything just changed. So I’ll say it again, “Maybe when we just say “Help”, it gives God all kinds of room to go beyond all that we can ask, think or imagine.”
Can we be purposeful in coming to God with empty hands? No agenda, no plan? Just me? I think we can. I don’t think we have to get worn down by life or circumstance to get to that honest, vulnerable place with Him.
And maybe, “help” isn’t your simple prayer. Maybe it’s, “love”. Maybe it’s “heal” or “save”.
Peel past the layers, get to the core of your truth in that moment. Meet with Him in that place and discover new depths in your faith and connection with God.
bless you in your journey!